Guess Who's Coming for Water

Having been at this water conservation thing for a while, I have gotten used to certain things. You know, all the little behaviors I've been blogiphising about. Faucets are turned on the lowest pressure possible. Toilets are not always flushed. Dishes are not rinsed before going in the dishwasher. Then there are the other kinds of evidence of this new endeavor, like driving my husband crazy and writing extremist letters to Coke-a-cola. Sometimes I slip up and make sure to spend a few minutes feeling like a pinhead about it and try to do better. But just as I'm feeling like the Steve Jobs of water conserving housewives, a force stronger than I swoops down and crushes the system like Y2K (you know, if Y2K had actually been a real thing): Mom's visiting.

I love my mom. She is smart and generous and gifted. I mean, I have not had to lift a finger since she's been here. She's made dinner, washed the dishes, and lit the fire under my keester to do laundry - and she's been here for less than a day! But, Lord have mercy, girlfriend can waste some water!

What do you do when you want to be an environmentally-conscious pain in the butt and have guests? If Ghandi's mom came for a visit and wanted a sandwich, would he actually tell mama to take a hike? (No, I'm not comparing myself to Ghandi. Jeez!) Seriously, when you have guests, do you just tell them all the new rules of the household until they decide they will never stay with you ever again? Think about it: my mother is scrubbing my pots - am I really going to get all Poindexter in her face about the amount of water she's using? I'm not. I may not be a good enough daughter not to talk smack about her behind her back on this blog, but I'll be darned if I won't be a respectful schmoopy pumpkin.

So for the next week, while I will continue my own water-conserving behavior, my goal will be not to drive my mother completely insane, but rather to convince her to change one behavior that will save water. Now, some of you may be thinking that one behavior is a pretty whimpy goal. Well, to you I say, you don't know my mother. Ever hear the sayings "get over it," "so what," "big deal," and "What do you think you're the only one who's got a life, Karen?" She invented those. So, unless you can come up with a better plan, I'm sticking to my underachiever goal - get over it!