Ohmygoshimasama!

Oh Lordy. So, I've decided to get skinny and have no time to exercise, so I've been doing Bikram Yoga at some god awful hour that doesn't even deserve a spot on the clock because it's so miserably early. I love it! (Can't you tell). In case you aren't up on your Yoga-types (Believe me, I'm not) Bikram is the kind of yoga where your in a room that's so hot your skin melts off of your face. Up side: even when you're lying flat on the ground wishing you were dead, you're still sweating the pounds away. Down side: all you want to do is lie on the ground wishing you were dead while letting the pounds melt away. Unfortunately, they also make you do stuff. Like hold your food over your head... BEHIND you. All kidding aside, I've been really happy doing it and hope that I can keep this up. I've NEVER been an early riser, but this seems to be the only way to add anything more to my already hectic schedule.

The yoga studio I go to has water conscious signs everywhere. Signs about how you're only allowed two towels because they don't want to do too much laundry and waste water. Low flow shower heads. They do sell bottled water, but encourage you to bring your own water (which most people do). I have to say, it's nice living in a place where there are such water conscious businesses. I'm proud to be twisting my body like a pretzel in their name.

The only disappointing thing is how ridiculously long the other yogi's showers are. Now, let's forget that there is a line of gross, sweaty, smelly people in need of a good hose down (me included) waiting outside the shower stalls. But the amount of water that is wasted made my heart pound faster then when I do that half-hippopotamasama or whatever you call it where I'm half of my body is upsidedown while the other half is right side up. Is this what's going on around the world while I'm not looking? I mean, one girl even took the time to wring out her saturated yoga wear - and you know that mound of stink is going in the washing machine anyway.

Look people, a shower is for getting clean. That's it. Get in, get clean and get out. This takes five minutes at the MOST. If it takes you longer, you're doing it wrong. And even if you want the extra couple of minutes to massage your head full of shampoo, or loofa your legs (Loufa? I can't spell) or act out a scene from Singin in the Rain, just shut the water off! Because someday it won't just be a line of stinky pretzel people looming. It will be one heck of a dried up world.

Got 8?

Have I really not talked to you guys since the 13th! What a slacker! Tune in tomorrow when I will be talking about my new affair with 6am Bikram Yoga. Yes, it will still focus on water issues. Lord knows, I don't want to talk about the sorry state of my flexibility. Who knew pulling on my big toe could be painful enough to make me want to scream obscenities!

For today, I wanted to share this great little video. Fun to watch, informative. Oh, for goodness sakes, just watch it! Then read the comments to know about all the pinheads out there who watched it and worry more about the state of capitalism than they do the environment, our children's future and well, the fact that well, we're getting the pants scammed off of us! Watch.

Retreat!

I'm on a writers retreat. Notice I said writers retreat and not "writing" retreat. Haven't done much writing as of yet, though there has been quite a bit of discussion that has been helpful. Lots of eating too, which is always welcome. Lots of running the water too. The water here is bloody freezing! Like the pipe it in straight off a penguin's ass. Yes, I'm in a cabin. Yes I'm in the woods. But can a girl get a luke warm drip of water? Anyway, without a watering can or bucket that I trust to be clean, I am watching lots of water go down the drain without a useful moment on this planet. My poor housemates are looking over their shoulders constantly trying to read my mind - as if I am thinking less of them for wanting to have feeling left in their hands after washing the dishes. I waited for the shower to heat up, making myself feel better by sticking my toothbursh under the showerhead instead of running the sink. Hey, it's something. Meanwhile, I think I saw a squirrel watching me through the window. He looked pissed. Sorry nature. Maybe I will put in the suggestion box that they should have buckets and watering cans for just this purpose. Might make the owners say, "hmmm." Might make them say, "what kind of UnAmerican crazies rented the cabin this weekend, anyway." Either way, it cant hurt. And at least now I can call this a "writing" retreat!

Silver Jewels

I was going to look up more about the eBay lady who is running for Governor when I came across the California Water Service website and their FREE water saving accessories! Now I can don my apartment in the silver jewels it deserves all for the price of 0.00! Conservation never looked this good! (This entry is now dubbing as my audition piece for the home shopping network.) Don't wait! Order now!

Well, wait a minute... there's a snag.

They want an account number and the name of the person on the account. Ummm... first of all, I don't have that information. I'm a RENTER. I'm assuming it's my landlord. I know her name but the account number. I'm lucky enough to have a landlord that does not charge us for water, so I have absolutely no idea. Um, Cal Water Service, can I ask a question. WHY are you asking for this stuff. If you're sending this stuff to a CAL address, then why of why do you care what my account number is? I'm trying to save water. Why you gotta give me a hard time?

Yes, I will ask my landlord. I hate to bother her with this, but I will do it.

But the way, this all came out of my son's new obsession with running the water at FULL BLAST. He's now old enough to tell me that the soap doesn't all come off when we only run it at half the power. So whenever it's time for him to wash his hands, you hear us bickering. "You're waisting water." "There's more soap!" "You have to rub your hands together." "I am!" Poor kid. Washing your hands should not be stressful with everything else that can stress a kid out these days. This should be on the list of soothing, calming, easy peasy no-brainers. Sorry baby. Mama's fixin to make everything right again. Don't you worry. CWS, you better come through!

Backed Up

I'm alive, I just have been buried. Mostly under a calendar. How does that happen. Well, you know all of those comprehensive magazine calendars you see with a roundup of every friggin thing there is to do in an area. Well, someone has to write that. In the case of a certain publication in my area, that's me. I actually asked the editor to take it off my plate because I'm really not getting much else done. Anyway, it's not an excuse, but I'm having to store all of my water news in my head until I actually get a chance to sit here and write it. Now, of course, the only thing going through my head is how I forgot to pack a pillow case for my son this morning in his school back for nap time. My kid's well-being trumps all, my friends...

I will say that I have been seeing many MANY commercials plugging the eBay woman for governor, and I have been doing a lot of wondering about what her stance is on the whole levy issue. I don't know if you remember a few bloggies back when I posted that 60 minutes segment about the levy's here in CA and how we are less than one earthquake away from them collapsing into oblivion - causing the salt water to mix in with the water in the reservoir. So, I'm going to vote for the person who pledges to fix that as a top three priority - equal to healthcare and education. Anyone who doesn't see it as a top priority is, frankly, a moron. More on this in later episodes. But for now, speaking of earthquakes...

I was up way to late the other night working on, you guessed it, the friggin calendar, when I tuned into CNN. There's nothing like watching a little bit of the boob tube just before I go to bed to shut off my brain and lul me into sleepyland. Now, I should mention that I HATE CNN because I think that all news should be publicly funded. I want to know NEWS, not the version that Gold Bond Medicated Ointment or Viagara or whatever the heck other sponsor thinks is news. I plan on pounding this into my son's consciousness so that he never thinks that the sensationalist crap is news. It's not. It's the new MTV. It's the alternate ESPN. Anyway, I'm flipping through and they are covering the earthquake in Chile. What a nightmare. First Haiti and now this. So powerful that they were saying the rotation of the earth actually sped up a fraction of a second because of the magnitude.

I've never been through a major earthquake. I remember one when I was living in NYC. I remember knowing exactly what it was and going back to sleep. (This was in the late 90's, I believe.) But now that I live here in the Bay Area, I know I'm going to face one. Especially since epicenters have been ping ponging around the globe. I want to have a water supply and thought I would just buy a case of bottled water. Turns out, emergency water supplies come in bags, not bottles. Not sure why. I think it's the responsible thing to do, but is it a little crazy? Am I doing the smart thing or am I doing the Ted Kazinski thing?

My time is up. More tomorrow...

Parched

Well, I haven't written for a few days as you may have noticed. The official reason is that I have been quite busy and a few things changed in my schedule last week that made it difficult to fit blogging in. You know how it goes. But there is something else that has made sitting down and writing this blog even more difficult. I bought a bottle of water. Yes, after I went on and on about how we just have to stop buying this stuff, what did I do? I bought a bottle of water.

It was at a theater. As usual, I hadn't been anywhere close to the daily requirement of water and I was parched. Here's the conversation between me and the guy at the snack table.
Me: "Do you have any juice?"
Him: "No"
Me: (Pointing to a bottle I didn't recognize) "What is that?"
Him: Water. (He gets one from the fridge)
Me: Oh. Do you guys have a water fountain?
Him: No (He opens the bottle of water) If we had a water fountain, we couldn't sell bottled water.
Me: (Awkward laugh)
Him: I know. We're a bunch of dirty capitalists here. (He hands me the opened bottle of water) That will be three dollars.

Then next thing I knew, I was crouched in a corner drinking this bottle of water with my cookie, hoping I could finish it before my friend (who reads this blog) came out of the ladies room. As you know, I mess up. My only penance is transparency on this blog and the promise that I will continue to try and not mess up, especially after I get really preachy!

Is this a bad time to give an assignment? Probably, but I'll do it anyway. I have been given the task of writing about conserving water at work. Now, much of what I have in mind has to do with transferring what I do at home to the work place. As you may or may not know, I work from home. Sure, I've had plenty of office jobs, but that workplace mentality kind of goes out the window when you spend some days working in pajamas while doing a mud mask. So, I was wondering if anyone has any ideas for conserving water as it applies to the workplace. Any thoughts???

The New Styrofoam

I've had this bottle of Fiji water sitting on my desk for the last few weeks. It's just sitting there. I almost caved one day and brought it in the car with me to drink. It was sitting in my cupboard since before starting this blog (there are a couple more from the six pack I had bought way back when). But I couldn't open it because I didn't want to go back to this blog and have to write about how I broke my own rule. So, it's sitting there. And being a writer, I spend a lot of time at my desk not writing (any writer can explain that one). So the other day I actually read the back of the bottle.

"The purest water comes from the purest clouds. Our rainfall is purified by trade winds as it travels across the Pacific Ocean to the islands of Fiji. A continent away from acid rain and other polutants, Fiji Water is preserved and protected by one of the last virgin ecosystems on Earth."

So I went to Fijigreen.com to learn more about their water and about the company going green. Their goals sound great. Reducing CO2 emissions, 50% renewable energy sources by 2010, and setting goals to be "carbon negative." Awesome, right? But just as I was about to crack open the bottle and toast to a brighter, more convenient future where I don't have to remember to keep refilling the pitcher of water in my refrigerator, I thought about something. We're talking about water. WATER! You know, the stuff that comes out of the sink. How much CO2 does a sink give off? Anyone, anyone...?

I don't mean to pick on Fiji. Sorry cute little Fiji with those adorable little post-it drawings on your website, illustrating all the different CO2 emitting steps it took to get this bottle of water to sit on my desk and stare at me. The truth is, that it's not their fault. It's ours. We're buying it.

I was at someone's house for dinner (no, I'm not going to mention names) and the person had set the table with styrofoam (spelling???) plates. Yes, stirofoam (another attempt at spelling). Is it more accurate to say polystyrene? Anyway, everyone sitting at the table said something (the relationships at the table were too close knit to let a little thing like disposable dinnerware ruin them). The host was embarrassed even before the ridicule, but kept saying, "I've had these plates for so long, what am I supposed to do with them?" Good point, but she will likely never buy them again. I want this to happen with bottled water. I want there to come a day where someone is drinking bottled water and everyone around them says, "what the heck are you doing???" First things first - stop buying bottled water.